as for many artists, the devastation of the ongoing health and social crisis and stillness of any cultural life thereafter brought at least one silver lining to me, personally: time.
if in march 2020 all tours and productions hadn’t abruptly stopped, the music I am about to release wouldn’t exist. or at least, not yet, not in this form.
I am grateful to having had so much time and space to let ideas and visions sit and sink in. It makes all the difference. I’ll tell you more about the process and completed piece when it’s time to do so (soon-ish).
for today I would like to share with you the song that is track #1 on the album I am going to release this year.
‘stuck’ is my tear-luring-song. it is about the feeling, when you know you need to cry, it is sitting on the edge of your eye-lid but it doesn’t jump. It won’t come out, maybe because you’re scared all hell breaks loose when you let go or because you don’t know how to make it stop once you opened the gates. it’s an uncomfortable feeling, the holding back.
and I don’t know the recipe to get it flowing. I tried some things , but in the end it comes when it’s ready.
when you’re ready and when you finally face something you couldn’t name yet. some times when I felt the need to cry in the past and chose to suppress it, I would immediately regret it, because it’s so painful to do that and it goes against a physical urge. once you’ve swallowed down your tears, I find it hard to get them back out…
crying releases stress hormones and removes toxins from the body. it is healthy. ultimately I’d choose crying over holding it back and presenting an absurd and alleged image of strength a thousand times.
I produced ‘stuck’ together with drummer and sound magician marco kleebauer. shortly after I wrote the song I knew I wanted exactly his drum sound on the track. rarely was I ever this satisfied with the translation from vision to reality as with this production. it sounds just like I heard it in my head and that is a beautiful thing.
also included in my first album-diary-message-in-a-bottle is a tiny lyric-visual to the song.
to be honest I am a little turned off by the expectation of having to produce movie-like music videos to all songs I ever publish.
don’t get me wrong, I loooove shooting videos, but it’s a lot of work (next to creating the thing I am actually here for) and it costs a lot of nerves & money. also – we still have a pandemic going on which makes it a bit harder to shoot something right now. that’s why I chose to – as most sane people would – climb into my bathtub (favourite spot 2020), fully clothed, let the shower head teach me crying and filmed it with my phone. you’re welcome.
featuring the lyrics, beautifully illustrated by schorsch feierfeil!
and with that I leave you to it.
I hope you are safe & healthy
much love –